It's kind of sad. Some of the artists we once loved so much as kids keep coming out with worse and worse problems. Chris Brown, the innocent R&B singer who sang my favorite song, "With You," is now threatening to murder all of his girlfriends. Aaron Carter, "I Want Candy" child star, is now sniffing cocaine (probably) and starting racist fights with people during shows... But at least there's one artist we can count on to never change - unfortunately - and that's Katy Perry. So let's get down to this week's stories.
1. Chris Brown is having a bad week.
Poor Chris Brown. First, he decides that the fight he's been planning with Soulja Boy for what seems like forever is not happening and now his ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on his ass.
Or maybe more like poor Soulja Boy... What is he going to do for attention now, since he clearly can't depend on his dead music career for that?
Emotional baby boy Chris Brown also officially has to stay 100 yards away from ex GF (who he hasn't even been with for the last two years) Karrueche Tran, her mom, and her brother now due to a restraining order. Dlisted
says, "Karrueche gave a sworn statement to a judge earlier this month claiming that Chris had told his friends he was going to 'take her out' and also threatened to shoot her."
This dude is an obsessive boyfriend, but not in a cute way. Like, in a "No, I'm literally going to kill you" kind of way. To the next lady who finds herself crushin' and in need of some Chris love, maybe take a pointer from RiRi and Tran and STAY AWAY.
Chris also took to Instagram with another one of his creepy videos to respond to the Tran news as well as the Soulja Boy fight:
2. Watch Katy Perry's new video for "Chained To The Rhythm," where Katy is a hilarious parody of herself!
Katy Perry has released her video for "Chained To The Rhythm,"
and the first thing I thought was "how much MONEY did they put into this?"
Like, I'm pretty sure the entire California Dreams Tour
was just an attempt to save up for the making of this video. The second thing I thought was, "is Katy Perry STILL doing this?"
Like, the whole pastel shit (whaddup Black Mirror
) with the cotton candy and bubblegum filler? It basically felt like a way less compelling version of "California Gurls"
(that video rocked). Is Katy's plan really just to do the same thing forever and ever and ever and ever?
3. Poor misunderstood Aaron Carter got beat up during a show for being racist.
...Wait, Aaron Carter is still making music?
The answer is yes! We know this because he recently played a show at Looney Bin in Bradley, Illinois (which is apparently the shittiest place/smallest venue in America, they admit it themselves on their Facebook page
). After getting pissed at a member of the opening act, ILL State, for goofing off while Carter tried to perform, he had him taken out by security (this venue is big enough to have security?) and as he was being walked out, Carter screamed, "bye Felipe!", which was meant to be a take on "bye Felicia," because apparently the dude was hispanic. Hilarious. No really, clearly the music isn't working out, Aaron, so maybe you should be a fucking comedian.
The guy later came back and started beating up Carter for being racist, damaging his computer and a speaker and ended up with him having to go to the hospital.
But don't worry Aaron Carter fans! (are there any out there?) because that night, he quickly took to Twitter to reassure everyone that he is indeed, safe and back at home with his pretty face still in tact. Here are some of the tweets (it took me forever
to find these because homeboy sends out a new tweet every 5 seconds):
Pretend that last tweet was written by Donald Trump - isn't the resemblance astonishing?