THAT GIRL IS POISONNNN... (WAIT, ISN'T THAT A GUY?)

Bret Michaels, the bandana-wearing frontman of Poison, hasn’t penned a major hit in over a decade. The band’s recent greatest-hits compilation charted at #17 on the Billboard 200, however, and the aging singer seems eager to complete his comeback. So, with that in mind, Bret Michaels has taken the next logical step: he’s starring in a VH1 reality-TV series modeled after Flavor Flav’s Flavor of Love.

…. Really.

This summer, reality addicts will be treated to Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. According to the press release, Michaels is “looking for a woman who can truly keep up with his rock-n- roll lifestyle and not become jealous of his one true passion – performing.” Female contenders will live in Michael’s “Los Angeles rock palace” while being “tested on their devotion to him and their love and understanding of all that is rock-n-roll.” And here’s the best part: “To help narrow the field, Michaels will put these women through various challenges. The ladies who win these challenges will join Michaels on some wild and exclusive excursions, while those who can't hang like true backstage VIPs will be escorted out in bona fide rock star fashion.”

HAH! We are simultaneously suspicious of Michael’s trashiness and impressed with his brilliance. What better way to relive a groupie-filled ‘80s heyday than to turn it into prime-time entertainment? Somewhere, lead guitarist C.C. Deville is kicking himself for having starred in The Surreal Life instead.

In other news, a London-based department store has cancelled its plans to break the world record for “most guitarists simultaneously playing one song.” Harrods had sent out a call for 2,000 players to visit the popular store on Sunday, February 18th. The plan? To rock out (a la Ritchie Blackmore) to “Smoke On The Water,” which features an elementary (but catchy) riff that a 3 year-old could hum.

“We regret to inform you,” the store’s website reads, “that due to unforeseen circumstances, we have had to cancel the World Record breaking attempt on Sunday 18th February.” As a result of the cancellation, the record is still held by the 1,322 people who rocked out to the same song in Vancouver, British Columbia, in 1994.