Groupies Air Grievances via Reddit
  • TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2013

  • Posted by: Anton Barcelo

In a recent Reddit thread, users took turn sharing their most naughty, and unsubstantiated, stories of sex with celebrities. From the shocking ("[My ex] was friends with a SKA band and would go to all of their shows. Well I found out she slept with one of them. When I asked her about it, she told me she slept with all of them. This is a 15 member group!!!!!!!!") to the plain weird ("I ate a Mars bar out of Mick Jagger's snatch in the early 70s"), anonymous users, many using "throwaway" accounts (a username created just to tell a secret), shared their groupie gossip. Again, unsubstantiated is the keyword here.

We dug deep into the thousands of comments to find out which type of musicians are the wackiest in bed/back of van. After dividing our research findings by genre (rappers, rockers, indie rockers, and pop stars from the 90's and the 00's) we can proudly present the results.

5. Stars of the 00s
According to the Internet gossips, the stars of the previous decade are the lamest. John Mayer, known to date Hollywood hotties, is apparently a pervert, and that is interesting enough. But his perv moves seem to get in the way of his success with fans.







Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback, is just sort of lame in and of himself. However, he is supposedly well hung.




4. Stars of the 90's
Here we are getting to some more juicy stories. According to Reddit, Celine Dion has good manners and buys her one-night stands breakfast.



AJ from the Backstreet Boys likes phone sex.



The guys from the Bloodhound Gang apparently hook up with fans together.



And Eddie Vedder is well, tame and mellow, and doesn't fuck around.



3. Rockers
Yeah, that's right. Rockers are no longer the number one groupie targets. Of course they still have the greatest accumulated wealth of fucked-up tour stories, but among today's Internet crowd, they aren't mentioned a lot. But here is what we learned about them: the WASP bassist Johnny Rod apparently has a tiny rod...



...unlike the Rammstein singer Till Lindemann, who has a "fireman hose penis" [sic]. As anyone who has seen a Rammstein show will attest, Lindemann is not shy about his body, and maybe this is partly why.



2. Indie rockers
Though they are both stars of the 00s and rockers, indie rockers get their own category. And conveniently enough, one Reddit user sampled some of the top names of the scene during her days as a bartender in Camden Town, London.



1. Rappers
One user's mom went to a party with the Beastie Boys in Brooklyn, at a house where cocaine, weed, and pills were abundant. Supposedly, she didn't stay very long.



If we are to believe this random Internet user, LL Cool J is a racist, but doesn't let that get in the way of having interracial sex.



And finally, in a story about DMX, a detail was revealed that earned the rappers the top spot on our list of freakiest groupie-lovers.



That's all, folks! And remember, never believe what you read online!
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