Heart2Heart Is Your Nightmare
  • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2011

  • Posted by: Joe Puglisi

We don't mean to send you off to the beautiful, spacious, relaxing weekend with such rampant nightmare imagery but we feel it best to warn you that a) this exists and b) it will be playing in our brains when we jump off the Brooklyn Bridge later tonight in a Vodka-fueled nihilistic rage SO WATCH WITH CAUTION, MUSIC FANS. Eyemuffs. Heart2Heart claim to be mentored by former N*Sync member Lance Bass. The kids are painfully aware of the Internet's power for meme-ing, so the cyberntetic 14-year-olds of Heart2Heart sing about being in Facebook relationships and checkin' you out on their Mac. Cheetos Zingers! No explination is offered for their androngony or their "dance break" (you'll see why it's in quotes).
Adults made this? It's as if someone from the early '90s traveled through time and tried to piece together what's cool in today's world, and then shot themselves in the face and their intern finished the job, but their can't read or write so they just yelled at someone until it got done. I think I was less depressed when I missed out on Radiohead tickets. Check please. (Heart2Heart is not actually real. You can rest easy, and thank the Internet for your panic attack.)
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